Life Skills: Problem-solving, Communication, Interpersonal Relationships, Critical Thinking, Creative Thinking
This session is divided into two parts. Think carefully about the timing and do what suits your group first. In the second part you may need to adapt the Agony Aunt letters. Use the everyday words and phrases that children find most appropriate to describe aspects of sex and sexual behaviour. If the children cannot read, simplify the session focusing on one or two Agony Aunt letters only.
What do boys look for in a girlfriend?
What do girls look for in a boyfriend?
You can have a break here.
Dear Auntie,
Can you tell me what is wrong with me? I have now fallen in love four times. Each time the girl is very beautiful and I cannot sleep until she agrees to my proposal. But after making love, I lose interest in them. How can you find a girl who you will love for ever?
Questions
Notes (educator only)
The boy does not love the girl but has strong sexual feelings. He should control his feelings and ask to know girls better. If he thinks only about having sex with a girl then this is not love.
Dear Auntie,
I am 15 years old and I love this girl very much. We go out together every weekend and we have a very good time together. The problem is, I don’t want to hurry into making love to her until we get to know each other better, but she seems to be getting impatient. She tells me if we love each other then we should show it. Do you have to have sex if you are in love?
Questions
Notes (educator only)
The boy and girl seem to love each other. She wants to have sex to show her feelings. She is right to say that sex can show you love someone. But if you love someone you also respect their feelings. The boy prefers to wait until they know each other better and because of the consequences of having sex at a young age.
Dear Auntie,
I have been with my girlfriend for about 2 months and I really enjoy being with her. The problem is I am not sure if she feels the same. Last Sunday we went to watch a football match together but she spent the whole afternoon talking with another boy who lives nearby. I got so upset I left her there and went home. Now she has written me a note asking me why I abandoned her at the football match. What should I say to her? Do you think she loves me?
Questions
Notes (educator only)
Maybe the girl was being selfish and did not realise that she was upsetting the boy or maybe she really does not care about the boy’s feelings. It is also possible that the boy is easily jealous, so he is exaggerating. In many societies, boys and men grow up to believe that they should control their girlfriends. Boys get angry if their partner talks to other people, especially other boys. The boy could reply to her note asking to meet so that they can discuss the issue together. If they cannot compromise, then perhaps they do not love each other enough.
Dear Auntie,
My family is poor and my mother really has to struggle to send me to school. At school, I have met this boy who comes from a rich family. He has bought me food once or twice and he tells me that he really loves me. But he laughs at my clothes and when I told him that my mother sells buns in the morning to get the money for me to go and school, he laughed and ever since he has been calling me daughter of a bun. If I act upset, he laughs even more. Do you think he really loves me?
Questions
Notes (educator only)
The boy may have some feelings which are similar to love for this.
What is the most important aspect of love? What makes love last? If you feel attracted to someone, is it love? Why do you feel this?